By Erin Breen
erinmeehanbreen@aol.com

SPECIAL TO THE RENO GAZETTE-JOURNAL

She has her mother's blond hair and bright blue eyes.
At 11, Charis White is already in the sixth grade, and at only 11, she already has dealt with some of the hardest issues any of us can imagine.

Three years ago, Charis lost her mother to suicide.

"She just didn't come home one night, and the cops had to go and look for her," Charis said. "A few days later, one of them came to the door and told us they found her. She was dead."

Her voice is matter-of-fact, and her eyes have a look of sadness as she remembers the woman who rocked her to sleep and showed her the world.

"I used to go to work with her sometimes," Charis said. "She was a pre-school teacher. We used to pick cherries together. She was amazing, and I miss her every day. Sometimes people say I should just get over it, because she's gone. They don't understand I'll never get over it...I'll never stop missing her."

Soon after she lost her mother, Charis and her father moved to Reno. Here she found the Solace Tree Center for Grieving Children, Teens and Families

"Sometimes it's hard to talk to people because they don't know what you've been through," Charis said. "But at Solace Tree, everyone's been through a loss and you know they understand

When Charis was assigned at school to write a book, it didn't take her long to decide to write about her mother. She wanted to remember what a wonderful person her mother was, and she felt it would help to write about when she passed away.

It's called "My Fade Away Life."

It's given Charis a chance to draw pictures of herself with her mom and to work through her grief. It's also given her the chance to educate adults and kids about how to deal with a child who has dealt with death.

Charis now goes to service club meetings and workshops where Emilio Parga of the Solace Tree discusses children and loss. Charis proudly reads them her book and lets listeners ask her questions about what to say and what not to say.

She knows the hushed tones and how people avoid you after such a loss, and she knows how to deal with it from the inside. Not only that, but she has already helped other kids in the counseling group become comfortable and open up.

Charis White has been through a lot, but she says somehow helping others understand her loss is helping give her an even better understanding of it herself.

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DETAILS

Solace Tree Center for Grieving Children, Teens and Families: Call Parga at 324-7723 or go to www.solace tree.org for more information and to see Charis White's book, 91My Fade Away Life.'