Guy Clifton

Emilio Parga says getting bladder cancer two years ago was a gift. "As soon as I heard the diagnosis, I said `I'm going to beat this,'" the soft-spoken, 34-year-old Reno20 resident said.

Moments before his surgery, Parga, a second-grade teacher at Anderson Elementary at the time, had an epiphany.

"I said, `Not only am I going to make it, but I'm going to make a difference for the community and the world,'" he said. "This is a gift and I'm going to give something back."

In the months since, the 1998 Wooster High graduate developed the idea for The Solace Tree, a nonprofit service that provides emotional and financial support to children, teens and families coping with the sudden death of a loved one. He left his teaching job and threw all his energy behind the project, which launched in March.

"The idea is to help the survivors," said Parga, who has a Master's degree in counseling. "The No. 1 cause of death for ages 1 to 34 for both genders, all races, is accidental death. Children need a place to deal with their grief through counseling and peer support groups."

It's a service that is much-needed, said Adriene Angelini, victim advocate for the Reno Police Department.

"He has such a great idea," she said "We don't have a grieving center anywhere in our community. What I think is great is the idea of helping the kids. It's better when a child can validate a child's feelings."

Angelini knows first-hand the shock of a loved one's sudden death. Her father, Tony, was murdered in May 1990 as he opened his Reno business.

"I know when my dad was killed, we didn't have anyone to talk to," she said. "I just wanted to hear from other kids my own age, who had gone through what I did. There wasn't anybody there."

Parga tries to help families in myriad ways - from small things such as providing a toy to a child or a loaf of bread to a family, to providing financial assistance to pay for funerals or cremations. He also provides referrals, has a lending library and a Web site - www.solacetree.org - with information about all his services.

Next month, he will hold a training session for volunteers. Donna Shuurman,executive director of the Dougy Center National Center for Grieving Children and Families, will be in Reno to provide the training.

Parga has also secured some local sponsors. The Lutheran Church on Arlington Avenue is offering rooms for the training and counseling sessions, the House of Bread is collecting toys and providing bread for grieving
families.

House of Bread owners Eric and Chris Breeze first met Parga as a customer at their store on California Avenue, but when two members of their family developed cancer, it was Parga that helped them deal with the situation.

"My sister-in-law developed a cancer and at the same time my mother-in-law developed cancer," Eric Breeze said. "Emelio and my wife became very good friends talking about that. He's a very sincere, very emotional young man. He just gets inside you and figures out how to make your life a little bit easier during the grieving process."

Parga is well aware that death isn't an easy or pleasant subject.

"It's not to get people to think differently about death, but to think about life," he said. "That's why my cancer was a gift. It has made me embrace life and people more than ever, like there is no tomorrow."

Anyone interested in more information about the The Solace Tree can call Parga at (775) 324-7723.

HELPER: Emilio Parga runs the nonprofit Solace Tree, a service that provides grief counseling for youths and families affected by the sudden death of a loved one.