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SOLACE
For 5 years, donors and volunteers have been the heart and soul of The Solace Tree, helping 1283 children and teens after they have experienced the death of a child, parent, caregiver, friend or sibling.
At The Solace Tree we know that the death of someone important can have a devastating effect on a young life. However, we also know that given appropriate support and information, children can be helped to understand what has happened and can learn to live with their loss. It is our vision to make sure that all bereaved families have the support they need when they feel the time is right. Our programs and services are designed to help bereaved children and families by providing opportunities for:
- Support, information and education – supporting children and families to understand death and what it means to them
- Communication – encouraging family members to talk openly with each other
- Opportunities – to meet other children, teens and families with similar experiences.
Not talking about important issues can be harder than talking about them. We are here to listen, guide and teach. As a result, families are strengthened and parents are feeling more confident about their parenting skills as they too work through their loss.
We have a great board of directors that care deeply about our mission and building a stronger community for all of our children. I am grateful to have the many volunteers share their time and passion in our program as well as deeply honored that the community has chosen The Solace Tree – Child and Adolescent Center for Grief and Loss to make a contribution.
For the children,
Emilio
Take a Class on Grieving Children
Helping Bereaved Children and Teens
The program in Health Care Ethics at the University Nevada, Reno is offering a special topics class HCE 495/695 Children, Teens and Death to teach parents, caregivers and professionals how to support grieving children and teens.
This three credit course will be offered fall 2008 on Tuesday evenings from 4:00 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. Topics include practical ways to help young children and teens when dealing with death at home, school or in the hospital. Specific attention will be given to explaining death to children, development of the concept of death for children, activities that heal grieving children and teens, supporting families dealing with death, peer support groups and the latest research on grieving children and teens.
Students will experience a wide variety of information helping grieving children and teens cope with death in today’s world. Students will leave the course with a clear appreciation of how death-related events influence the lives of children and adolescents as well as their families, friends and community.
For more information please email
ethics@unr.edu or info@solacetree.org
or call 775.327.2309 or 775.324.7723
I had thought about volunteering at Solace Tree for a long time before I actually took the steps to make it happen. Ultimately I think it was fear that held me back. Even though I have suffered the loss of a sibling in my life, I still find myself awkward and uncomfortable in someone else's grief. My work though Solace Tree has helped me work through that fear and sense of being too uncomfortable to provide real, genuine support to another human being who is suffering loss and trying to reach out for help navigating the grief process. I truly feel that I benefit as much or more from offering up my experience and support to these wonderful children and their families as they do. Grief and loss is a necessary part of life and I am so proud to be in a role and organization that can reach out so tenderly and compassionately to souls in need of comfort and community.
My children and I started coming to Solace Tree about 3 years ago after the death of my husband. Since then, I have lost my best friend and a cherished uncle. Solace Tree has helped me through all of this.
I can express my feelings and know that there are people there who care about me and have gone through similar losses. We have become friends along the way and truly care about each other. And not only do they care about me, they care about my children.
It's more of a "family" atmosphere. People who remember your "ups and downs" from week to week and ask you about them. Not someone telling you to "get over it".
My husband, my son’s father, died suddenly two days after Christmas in 2004. My son and I were in shock. My husband had gone to work in the morning as usual. When my son and I returned home later that afternoon my son found him dead of a heart attack. My son never cried. I cried constantly.
Our world had been turned upside down. Besides the shock and grief, financial, emotional, social and security issues reared their ugly heads. Co-workers and friends, although well meaning, didn’t understand the depth of grief we were experiencing and didn’t know what to do or say to us. My son’s school was supportive but none of his friends had experienced a loss and they couldn’t relate to what he was experiencing. He told me he felt isolated and alone.
I knew we needed help to get through the grief. I wanted to be supportive of my son and help him with his grief—but I couldn’t even help myself. I was a mess. My son learned not to talk to me about the grief because when he did I burst into tears. He told me he needed to be strong to help me. He told me he was the “man” in the house now. He was 9 years old.
My brother, who is a school counselor in WCSD, told me about Emilio’s program—The Solace Tree. My son didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to talk about his grief. He wanted to bury it. I told him we were in this situation together and needed to attend The Solace Tree as a family. He reluctantly attended with me. After about the third time we attended meetings at The Solace Tree my son began to look forward to the meetings. He marked the meeting dates on our calendar and made sure I got out the door in time so we wouldn’t be late.
The support we got at The Solace Tree was amazing. We were able to communicate with others who knew what we were going through. We connected with others so we knew we weren’t alone. This was especially important for my son. He finally got to express his grief and the other various emotions associated with the grief. He got to talk with other kids who knew what he was going through. He had a major break through about a year after we began attending The Solace Tree when he attended grief camp. It was the first time he had cried for his dad and expressed some of his grief.
The Solace Tree has had a major impact on our lives. The support that the participants provide each other is invaluable. My son and I have been regular attendees of The Solace Tree for 3 years. We attended for a year and a half as a grieving family. At that point I decided I wanted to give something back and went through the training for facilitators that The Solace Tree offers. I have been a volunteer facilitator for about a year and a half. My son is too young to be trained as a facilitator but he still attends regularly and supports other children through the grieving process.
Linda Valle
Many of you may be aware that The Solace Tree used donated space for the past three years. We are very grateful for the space provided by Anderson Elementary School, Renown Health and Bailey Charter School. Over the past few months something magic has happened. The University of Nevada, Reno has helped donate a house in an undisclosed space on campus.
As an organization we began to put down roots in this community, roots that have grown strong. Our home gives children and adolescents a place to call their own, a home where the rooms are always the same. We have talking rooms, an art room, a game room, an avalanche room and a garden.
SOLACE: Sadness Overcome in a Loving And Caring Environment.
The Solace Tree for grieving children, teens and adults
5 Years Accomplishments By the numbers:
1283 (to date) children (2 to 12) have attended The Solace Tree
183 teens (13 to 19) have attended The Solace Tree
32 young adults (20 to 29) (college, non-college) have attended The Solace Tree
443 adults have attended The Solace Tree
37 children and teens have attended Kids Can Cope (cancer support for children and teens living with someone with cancer or other illnesses
21 volunteer trainings averaging 4 trainings a year
19 workshops (CEU, CME) on helping children and teens grieve
429 speaking engagements on The Solace Tree
4 grief camps at Lake Tahoe, NV and Eagle Lake, CA supporting 123 children and teens
21 referrals
10 cultures
7 religions
23,980 (to date) volunteer hours
Where do families come from?
Carson City, NV
Dayton, NV
Doyle, CA
Elko, NV
Fernley, NV
Fallon, NV
Garnerville, NV
Incline, NV
Minden, NV
Reno, NV
Sacramento, CA
Susanville, CA
South Lake Tahoe, CA
Sparks, NV
Tahoe City, CA
Truckee, CA
The Solace Tree is dedicated to children, adolescents, and families who have lost a loved one. It is a safe place where children and their families can:
- Know they are not alone;
- Share their feelings, memories and experiences, in an atmosphere of non-judgemental acceptance;
- See that what they are going through is normal; and
- Know that hope and healing are possible.
Children, adolescents and adults who attend The Solace Tree receive support and encouragement from other participants in their groups. Through the group meetings they discover what is lost, what is left and what is possible.
Children and adolescents use art, music, drama, storytelling and play as ways to express their feelings and to share with peers who can understand and empathize with those feelings. During group discussions, they share their experiences of living without a parent, caregiver, friend, brother or sister.
At The Solace Tree friendships are made, and even in the difficult time of grief, laughter is shared.
The Solace Tree has a art room, drama, room, music room, avalanche room and recreation room. Our goal at The Solace Tree is for children, adolescents and adults to have a good time together – to know that even in grief, families can still find fun and enjoyment together.
Who wants to talk to a child about death? As adults, and especially as parents, we want to protect our children from painful experiences and the death of a loved one is the most painful of all. We want to see our children filled with joy, laughing, playing, and learning. Then why don’t we have the words to talk to children about death.
Children are human’s experiencing life, not just getting ready for it. Death is a part of life, it inevitably touches them. Trying to understand death is essential to a child’s well-being. To be able to grieve appropriately and cope with the loss before during and after a death enables a child to grow up free of guilt, depression , anger, and fear. When we can help children and teens heal the pain of the deepest emotional wound - the death of a loved one – we are giving them important skills and understandings that will serve them the rest of their lives. No child should grieve alone.
Orientation Sessions
Families interested in joining our peer support groups must attend an orientation. They are held monthly on the first Monday of every month. Completed paperwork must be returned prior to attending an orientation. Please call the office for registration information.
Camp Solace 2008 will be held at Lake Tahoe in Glenbrook, NV on September 5th, 6th, and 7th 2008. For more information or to sign-up call us at 775.324.7723 or e-mail info@solacetree.org.
The Solace Tree is a volunteer organization. We are fortunate to have compassionate adults working with children, adolescents and adults that utilize our program. We could not offer our programs if it weren’t for such individuals.
As the executive director, I cannot even begin to express the gratitude I feel toward our wonderful volunteers. I want to send out a special heartfelt thank you and warm welcome to our newest volunteers who completed the spring facilitator training.
No child should grieve alone,
Emilio Parga